about me



gradmommy at gmail dot com

I am a married 20-something black female dual-degree graduate/professional student in the social sciences. I have two three children, a son named Baby Boy A, born April 2012, a daughter named Little Girl A, born in August 2007 and a son named Big Boy A, born January 2006.

I love music, especially singing, reading, art, crossword puzzles and yoga. And as of spring 2013, I love to run.


I study parenting as a tool of social reproduction, and how it interacts with other institutions, especially education and law.

I am learning how to be a good mommy and a good wife and a good student and a good daughter, friend, and citizen of the world. My husband says I treat everyone like family but I’m afraid that sometimes that means I don’t give my real family what they need from me. I’m writing this blog and CocoaMamas.com to work through some of these issues, share some of my day-to-day drama (or blessings, depending on how you look at it), comment on goings-on in the world or in my backyard, and in general do some writing that will hopefully inspire me to write in ways that will help my career and make me a better mother.

I strive to be an open book, and will talk about my struggles with chronic pain, mental illness, and the stress of being a black woman and mother in academia trying to make a black marriage work and raise two well-adjusted, culturally aware and God-knowing and trusting children. I believe that my life is not my own, so that what I go through I share with others because we are all a part of one consciousness, one family, one Self. I do what I do to provide for my family, but my goal is always to do less “doing” and do more “being.”

As of August 2013, I am dissertating with plans to graduate in June 2014. I, excited and anxious to finish and start a new life as an actual working being. 🙂 I depend on God for all things and only want to be a living testimony of His will here on earth.

Thanks for reading.


17 thoughts on “about me

  1. welcome to the blog world! i’m so excited to see another stanford soc grad’s blog! best of luck with juggling work and family and thanks for sharing your experience through the blog. I’m sure a lot of us will appreciate the sense of community this provides!

  2. Hi! I came here from your link to Dawn’s blog (This Woman’s Work) and I just realized that my blog is in your blogroll (you may have commented before there, and I may not have noticed). I love to find other mothers in graduate school who blog! Your children are just so beautiful!! Well, I look forward to reading more and when I finally get around to updating my blogroll (I have to do it in html because I like it all categorized and it’s a pain) I’ll add yours too! 🙂 Nice to “meet” you!

  3. Oh, and I just wanted to say that it’d be nice if you had archives on your side bar (I like to work my way through a new [to me] blog from the very beginning).

  4. Patrick says:

    Wow this is great… I get to catch up on everything I missed, what Will didnt tell me and more. I gotta make this as a favorite. Love y’all.

  5. Sasha Taylor says:

    Hi!!! I’m Sasha…no you don’t know me…haha..but I came along your blog while surfing the web on “mommy’s in Grad School”…AND I saw that you are in grad school for sociology…(my plan is to be where you are in about a year)…I just had a couple questions…so if you wouldn’t mind could you email me? Nothing weird…just curious in how you deal with day-to-day stresses that I will probably encounter…being a young black woman… interested in qualitative research…wanting to specialize in race and ethnic studies…and getting married in July (possibly having children when I start)…
    WOW…that was a mouth full…lol
    My email is s042888t@edinboro.edu

  6. Hi,

    We are looking for a few good bloggers! Do you have what it takes?

    We identified you via the Stanford Blog directory listing and are very excited by your central voice in the Stanford Community.

    As background, I am Joe and am Founder of uShow – a Silicon Valley Online Video / Social Networking company with a breakthrough blogging product which we’re rolling out first on Stanford campus.

    We’re meeting with the main bloggers in the Stanford community and I want to make sure we include you in the action.

    We’d like you to join us at COHO (http://coho.stanford.edu/) at Stanford’s Tresidder Union on Monday Dec. 1st at 4:00PM for a “Study Break” before Finals week — Free Food, Free Coffee, Learn about uShow and how you could be a central part of the new blogging wave that uShow is bringing to the Stanford campus.

    Please let me know via email if you can join us on Mon. evening. We’re excited to meet you!



    Joe Shapiro
    c. (408) 368-5353

  7. Lu says:

    I love your about me, as someone who is a mother, is very interested in race and ethnicity, and is a law student, I really relate to parts of your lifestyle.

  8. fo1mock3 says:

    Love your perspectives. I’m not quite in grad school but am a young mother and wife aiming for it. Wonderful reading your posts and your babies are absolutely beautiful.

  9. Hi. I just saw your profile on the school’s website and found/and am enjoying your blog through Wicked Anomie. I will be applying to doctoral programs this fall in Sociology and American/Ethnic Studies and am also considering whether starting a family could fit. If you have any free moments would you mind e-mailing me? bohemianbahamian@gmail.com I would love to get your perspective on a few things.

  10. I came to your blog because I needed reassurance that being wife, mom, and student is not entirely impossible. I am starting classes next week and hoping I am doing the right thing for all parties involved. It is refreshing and encouraging to know that, yes, other people do it, too.

  11. When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added”
    checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get several e-mails with the same comment.
    Is there any way you can remove people from that service?


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